Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Say I break into your house...
Recently large demonstrations have taken place
across the country protesting the fact that Congress
is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration.
Certain people are angry that
the US might protect its own
borders, might make it harder
to sneak into this country and,
once here, to stay indefinitely.
Let me see if I correctly understand
the thinking behind these protests.
Let's say I break into your house.
Let's say that when you discover
me in your house, you insist that I leave.
But I say, 'No! I like it here.
It's better than my house. I've made all
the beds and washed the
dishes and did the laundry
and swept the floors. I've
done all the things you don't
like to do. I'm hard-working
and honest
(except for when I broke into your house).
According to the protesters:
You are Required to let me stay in your house
You are Required to feed me
You are Required to add me to your family's insurance plan
You are Required to Educate my kids
You are Required to Provide other benefits to me & to my family
My husband will do all of your yard work because
he is also hard-working and honest. (except for that breaking in part).
If you try to call the police or force me out,
I will call my friends who will picket your
house carrying signs that proclaim my
RIGHT to be there.
It's only fair, after all, because you have
a nicer house than I do, and I'm just
trying to better myself. I'm a hard-working
and honest, person, except for well,
you know, I did break into your house
And what a deal it is for me!!!
I live in your house, contributing only a
fraction of the cost of my keep, and
there is nothing you can do about it
without being accused of cold,
uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and
bigoted behavior.
Oh yeah, and I DEMAND that you learn
MY LANGUAGE!!! so that you can
communicate with me.
Why can't people see how ridiculous
this is?! America is governed by idiots, and populated by apathetic individuals.
If you agree, pass it on (in English).
If not blow it off.........
along with your future Social Security funds and a lot of the former benefits of being an American Citizen.
across the country protesting the fact that Congress
is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration.
Certain people are angry that
the US might protect its own
borders, might make it harder
to sneak into this country and,
once here, to stay indefinitely.
Let me see if I correctly understand
the thinking behind these protests.
Let's say I break into your house.
Let's say that when you discover
me in your house, you insist that I leave.
But I say, 'No! I like it here.
It's better than my house. I've made all
the beds and washed the
dishes and did the laundry
and swept the floors. I've
done all the things you don't
like to do. I'm hard-working
and honest
(except for when I broke into your house).
According to the protesters:
You are Required to let me stay in your house
You are Required to feed me
You are Required to add me to your family's insurance plan
You are Required to Educate my kids
You are Required to Provide other benefits to me & to my family
My husband will do all of your yard work because
he is also hard-working and honest. (except for that breaking in part).
If you try to call the police or force me out,
I will call my friends who will picket your
house carrying signs that proclaim my
RIGHT to be there.
It's only fair, after all, because you have
a nicer house than I do, and I'm just
trying to better myself. I'm a hard-working
and honest, person, except for well,
you know, I did break into your house
And what a deal it is for me!!!
I live in your house, contributing only a
fraction of the cost of my keep, and
there is nothing you can do about it
without being accused of cold,
uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and
bigoted behavior.
Oh yeah, and I DEMAND that you learn
MY LANGUAGE!!! so that you can
communicate with me.
Why can't people see how ridiculous
this is?! America is governed by idiots, and populated by apathetic individuals.
If you agree, pass it on (in English).
If not blow it off.........
along with your future Social Security funds and a lot of the former benefits of being an American Citizen.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Boobquake Actually Caused an Earthquake
After an Iranian cleric said earthquakes were God's punishment for scantily-clad women, the pro-scantily-clad lobby of womanity declared today Boobquake, a day to flout and disprove the cleric by baring your boobs. And then a 6.9-magnitude earthquake occurred in Taiwan!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Don Rickles Roasts Congress... and Barack Obama
Hello, dummies!
Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?
Seriously, Senator Reid has a face of a Saint - A Saint Bernard.
Now I know why they call you the arithmetic man. You add partisanship, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.
Reid is so physically unimposing, he makes Pee Wee Herman look like Mr. T.
And Reid's so dumb, he makes Speaker Pelosi look like an intellectual.
Nevada is soooo screwed!
If I were less polite, I'd say Reid makes Kevin Federline look successful.
Speaking of the Speaker... Nancy Pelosi, hubba, hubba!
Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.
Seriously, the Speaker may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. She really is an idiot.
Madame Speaker... want to make twelve bucks the hard way?
Pelosi says she's not partisan, but her constituents call her Madame Pelossilini.
Charlie Rangel... still alive and still robbing the taxpayers blind. What does that make, six decades of theft?
Rangel's the only man with a rent-controlled mansion.
He's the guy who writes our tax laws but forgot to pay taxes on $75 grand in rental income!
So why isn't he the Treasury Secretary?
Rangel runs more scams than a Nigerian Banker.
Barney Frank - he's a better actor than Fred Flintstone.
Consider... he and Dodd caused the whole financial meltdown and they're not only not serving time with Bubba and Rodney, they're still heading up the financial system!
Let's all admit it... Barney Frank slobbers more than a sheepdog on novocaine.
How did this guy get elected? Oh, that's right... he's from Massachusetts.
That's the state that elects Mr. Charisma, John Kerry -- man of the people!
You know, if Senator Dodd were any more crooked, you could open wine bottles with him.
Here's a news flash, Dodd: when your local newspaper calls you a "lying weasel", it may be time to retire.
Dodd's involved in more shady deals than the Clintons.
Even Rangel looks up to him!
Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, I really respect you... especially given your upbringing. All you've overcome...
I heard your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it really works for you.
Personally, I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others?
Gibbs does his best expositional work in the bathroom every morning.
As for President Obama, what can I say?
They say President Obama's arrogant and aloof, but I don't agree.
Now it's true when you enter the room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.
His mind is open to new ideas -- so open that ideas simply pass through it.
Obama lies so much, I was actually surprised to find out his first name really was Barack.
Just don't ask about his middle name!
But Obama was able to set a record... he actually lied more in 60 days than Bill Clinton.
As far as his administration -- what with the tax cheat and lobbyists -- well, in the words of Patches O'Houlihan, "It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there."
With all due respect.
I've found that if you add "with all due respect" to the end, any insult is okay.
Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?
Seriously, Senator Reid has a face of a Saint - A Saint Bernard.
Now I know why they call you the arithmetic man. You add partisanship, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.
Reid is so physically unimposing, he makes Pee Wee Herman look like Mr. T.
And Reid's so dumb, he makes Speaker Pelosi look like an intellectual.
Nevada is soooo screwed!
If I were less polite, I'd say Reid makes Kevin Federline look successful.
Speaking of the Speaker... Nancy Pelosi, hubba, hubba!
Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.
Seriously, the Speaker may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. She really is an idiot.
Madame Speaker... want to make twelve bucks the hard way?
Pelosi says she's not partisan, but her constituents call her Madame Pelossilini.
Charlie Rangel... still alive and still robbing the taxpayers blind. What does that make, six decades of theft?
Rangel's the only man with a rent-controlled mansion.
He's the guy who writes our tax laws but forgot to pay taxes on $75 grand in rental income!
So why isn't he the Treasury Secretary?
Rangel runs more scams than a Nigerian Banker.
Barney Frank - he's a better actor than Fred Flintstone.
Consider... he and Dodd caused the whole financial meltdown and they're not only not serving time with Bubba and Rodney, they're still heading up the financial system!
Let's all admit it... Barney Frank slobbers more than a sheepdog on novocaine.
How did this guy get elected? Oh, that's right... he's from Massachusetts.
That's the state that elects Mr. Charisma, John Kerry -- man of the people!
You know, if Senator Dodd were any more crooked, you could open wine bottles with him.
Here's a news flash, Dodd: when your local newspaper calls you a "lying weasel", it may be time to retire.
Dodd's involved in more shady deals than the Clintons.
Even Rangel looks up to him!
Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, I really respect you... especially given your upbringing. All you've overcome...
I heard your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it really works for you.
Personally, I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others?
Gibbs does his best expositional work in the bathroom every morning.
As for President Obama, what can I say?
They say President Obama's arrogant and aloof, but I don't agree.
Now it's true when you enter the room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.
His mind is open to new ideas -- so open that ideas simply pass through it.
Obama lies so much, I was actually surprised to find out his first name really was Barack.
Just don't ask about his middle name!
But Obama was able to set a record... he actually lied more in 60 days than Bill Clinton.
As far as his administration -- what with the tax cheat and lobbyists -- well, in the words of Patches O'Houlihan, "It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there."
With all due respect.
I've found that if you add "with all due respect" to the end, any insult is okay.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
The Difference Between Liberals and Conservatives
If he Conservative Liberal
doesn't like guns doesn't buy one wants all guns outlawed
is a vegetarian doesn't eat meat wants meat products banned
is homosexual quietly leads his life demands legislated respect
is down-and-out thinks about how to better his life wonders who is going to take care of him
doesn't like a talk show host switches channels demands host be shut down
is a non-believer doesn't go to church wants mention of God and religion silenced
decides needs health care goes about shopping for it demands that rest of us pay for his
doesn't like guns doesn't buy one wants all guns outlawed
is a vegetarian doesn't eat meat wants meat products banned
is homosexual quietly leads his life demands legislated respect
is down-and-out thinks about how to better his life wonders who is going to take care of him
doesn't like a talk show host switches channels demands host be shut down
is a non-believer doesn't go to church wants mention of God and religion silenced
decides needs health care goes about shopping for it demands that rest of us pay for his
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Can doctors refuse to treat patients based on their political beliefs?
First, Do No Harm to Your Political Party
Can doctors refuse to treat patients based on their political beliefs?
By Jessica Dweck
Posted Tuesday, April 6, 2010, at 4:44 PM ET
Incensed by the recent passage of health care reform, Florida physician Jack Cassell taped a sign to his office door advising Obama supporters to "seek urologic care elsewhere." Cassell does not plan to quiz would-be patients on their views, but many bioethicists believe he crossed the line of professional conduct. His actions raise the question: Can doctors refuse to treat patients based on their political ideology?
It depends on the circumstances. Hospitals and ambulances must provide emergency care to everyone regardless of citizenship, ability to pay, or any other criterion. But the government has not yet enacted a universal right to basic or preventive care, which means a private provider can refuse to treat a walk-in patient with a sore throat or a bum knee, say, just because he's wearing an "I Love Obama" pin. The exception here is if the doctor and his liberal patient had a pre-existing relationship. Turning away a current patient—whether by explicit instruction or passive-aggressive signage—constitutes abandonment, a potential violation of both professional ethics and the law. In order to sue successfully for medical negligence, the patient must prove that he was in need of care, that his doctor terminated care without giving proper written notice or helping to find a replacement, and that he suffered an injury as a result of the doctor's breach of duty.
From a civil rights perspective, Cassell is probably in the clear. While the law bars physicians from excluding patients on the basis of traditionally protected classes like race, religion, national origin, and disability, most jurisdictions permit political discrimination. One notable exception is the District of Columbia, which, along with a handful of other cities, specifies that it's not OK to discriminate based on political affiliation.
Even if the Florida urologist's stunt does not constitute unlawful discrimination or abandonment, he certainly violated the American Medical Association's Code of Medical Ethics. According to Opinion 9.012, "Under no circumstances should physicians allow their differences with patients or their families about political matters to interfere with the delivery of high-quality professional care." But the AMA is merely a club, and its sanctions have no teeth—especially since Cassell isn't even a member. Pointing to the code as a statement of national consensus on professional standards, an aggrieved party could lodge a formal complaint to the state licensing board. A revocation of license would, however, be unlikely for this particular offense. At worst, the board might require the physician to receive several hours of ethics training.
Bonus Explainer: Are urologists more likely than other doctors to lean right? No. According to a 2007 study, conservatives tend toward surgery, anesthesiology, pathology, and radiology, while liberals tend to choose psychiatry, gynecology, and pediatric sub-specialities. Predictably, the authors found a strong correlation between political conservatism and disagreement with the belief that access to health care is a human right.
Can doctors refuse to treat patients based on their political beliefs?
By Jessica Dweck
Posted Tuesday, April 6, 2010, at 4:44 PM ET
Incensed by the recent passage of health care reform, Florida physician Jack Cassell taped a sign to his office door advising Obama supporters to "seek urologic care elsewhere." Cassell does not plan to quiz would-be patients on their views, but many bioethicists believe he crossed the line of professional conduct. His actions raise the question: Can doctors refuse to treat patients based on their political ideology?
It depends on the circumstances. Hospitals and ambulances must provide emergency care to everyone regardless of citizenship, ability to pay, or any other criterion. But the government has not yet enacted a universal right to basic or preventive care, which means a private provider can refuse to treat a walk-in patient with a sore throat or a bum knee, say, just because he's wearing an "I Love Obama" pin. The exception here is if the doctor and his liberal patient had a pre-existing relationship. Turning away a current patient—whether by explicit instruction or passive-aggressive signage—constitutes abandonment, a potential violation of both professional ethics and the law. In order to sue successfully for medical negligence, the patient must prove that he was in need of care, that his doctor terminated care without giving proper written notice or helping to find a replacement, and that he suffered an injury as a result of the doctor's breach of duty.
From a civil rights perspective, Cassell is probably in the clear. While the law bars physicians from excluding patients on the basis of traditionally protected classes like race, religion, national origin, and disability, most jurisdictions permit political discrimination. One notable exception is the District of Columbia, which, along with a handful of other cities, specifies that it's not OK to discriminate based on political affiliation.
Even if the Florida urologist's stunt does not constitute unlawful discrimination or abandonment, he certainly violated the American Medical Association's Code of Medical Ethics. According to Opinion 9.012, "Under no circumstances should physicians allow their differences with patients or their families about political matters to interfere with the delivery of high-quality professional care." But the AMA is merely a club, and its sanctions have no teeth—especially since Cassell isn't even a member. Pointing to the code as a statement of national consensus on professional standards, an aggrieved party could lodge a formal complaint to the state licensing board. A revocation of license would, however, be unlikely for this particular offense. At worst, the board might require the physician to receive several hours of ethics training.
Bonus Explainer: Are urologists more likely than other doctors to lean right? No. According to a 2007 study, conservatives tend toward surgery, anesthesiology, pathology, and radiology, while liberals tend to choose psychiatry, gynecology, and pediatric sub-specialities. Predictably, the authors found a strong correlation between political conservatism and disagreement with the belief that access to health care is a human right.
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